Went out and sat in a coffee shop and read today. It was nice mainly because of the weather which gave me a bit more of a reason to go out. I always opt to stay in and do my thing alone within the four corners of my so-called home. Though there are days that I manage to be out without any real purpose, it’s a habit I think often I missed out for the reason that I am just too exhausted to walk around aimlessly.
Today was my only day off from work and I thought to give myself a fresh air out. The desire comes from a place of anxiety. I am leaving this country in 2 months after 8 long years and I feel like I am missing it already. I am trying to navigate this feeling around and making memories feels like a decent step in the right direction.
Anyway. I am currently reading Susan Cain’s Quiet. The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (real). It’s fascinating how history and even up until now there are people overvalue extroverts and treat introverts as misfits. It’s a slow one, but I enjoyed the pointers and peace it brought me. I went home after 2 hours and picked up groceries on my way. Prepared my lunch for tomorrow, something I haven’t been well enough to allow myself to do in some days.
The trip has driven me extra feelings due to the previous circumstances of getting stranded because of covid. Covid found its way into the norm and so, thus, our lives. Had a lovely time with my family and friends. Ate wholesome food, stayed up late catching up, and practised playing billiards.
REVISITED BAKU AFTER 2 YEARS
Delighted to be back there after 2 years. Didn’t expect it was my second and last trip. Everything remained familiar but the people.
CELEBRATED WORK ANNIVERSARY
It was fun hours taking a trip down memory lane. Reminiscing where and when we all started. Grateful for being here.
WATCHED THE WESTLIFE CONCERT
It was an epic night reliving my high school days. The songs resonated as well with the current state of emotions.
REVISITED LOUVRE AFTER 3 YEARS
History always fascinates me more than the future. And tickets are free for nurses.
BID FAREWELL TO A FRIEND
“I’m lost. Please take me with you.”
– my pisces heart to yours
The last 4 months were less heavy. We went out, saw the sunlight, had drinks, and visited places. The coming 3 months will be predictable. Beyond that lies the unknown of change. Change – a big thief of my sovereignty.
The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you but it is not. It is an essential truth. Only those capable of being alone are capable of loving, sharing, and going into the deepest core of the other person; without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without being addicted to the other.
I felt sedentary in 2021. Last year was a bit weighty. I wanted healing, newness, change, and growth and nothing worked. We were living in a much strange way of interacting with life. For me, it led to a withdrawal of old, unhealthy habits.
I recently just turned 34. I promised myself for the upcoming days to embrace newness every single day. I will explore a new dimension of my existence within the confines of my boundaries. I know it will be hard to get away from this rigid idea of myself or remain within any walls that exist only in my head. Every day will be an option to live in a way that feels good, to be doing things that align with what I value most.
To anyone reading this: If you long for transformation, start small. Maybe instead of buying your hard-boiled egg, boil your own. If you are just trying to get through today, have a shower and sleep. The world and your issues can wait. Trying something new does not have to be some complicated and stern thing.
To my gallant queens: Happy International Women’s Day! Be the nurturers, the soothers, and the steadier of rocked boats that you are. BUT minimise pleasing and placating the world as if your lives depended on it.
Reading is an incredible tool to help us grow, reframe our thinking by learning new things and sometimes transports us to a whole new world. I started to like reading first a few years back to improve my English writing and grammar. Today, I opted to read more if I want to know about anything that interests me.
This list is not a crazy goal of how many books I can read in a year, but merely the list to follow through.
I hope any of these will spark interest in you.
IKIGAI The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life – currently reading