WHY IT ROCKS TO BE SENSITIVE

Whenever I imagine my truest self, I picture someone who overthinks a lot, cries when happy and cries when sad.

This reminds me of when one of our docs shouted at me with dets we spare to share. I cried so much and hardly convinced myself that, it shouldn’t affect me anymore considering I’m doing nursing for a decade already.

Being highly sensitive is my trait and it is my weakness as much as my strength. Weakness in the sense that I often put others demands first before mine and ends up saying yes all the time and no matter how hard I try to put up boundaries, they are still being crossed. In the case of the latter, it is my gentle power, I can deeply analyze everything and I can feel what you feel. It might not be 100% accurate, but I’m pretty sure I will know. I might don’t have steel elbows but I keep the condition balance for the people who say no and outspoken.

There are so many instances that I am told to toughen up, you’re an adult, be a b*, say no, etc etc. Those pieces of advice in addition to being too emotional made me think something is wrong with me. Then I started reading about it to understand it better. Of course, the world is still painful sometimes. But I don’t believe you need to be sensitive to care.

I am essentially born to be mild and would love to take your hand to make the world gentler.

33 THINGS EVERY 33 YEAR-OLD WOMAN SHOULD KNOW

  1. You have wrinkles but it’s okay.
  2. Don’t compare YOUR success to someone else’s OWN definition of success.
  3. Turn your panic into prayers.
  4. Stop chasing after people for you don’t need to chase what belongs to you.
  5. Always go for quality over quantity. Be it physical things, people or relationships.
  6. You will take care of yourself first before you can take care of others. You can’t give what you don’t have.
  7. Follow what feels good.
  8. Invest on memories not on things.
  9. It’s not all about you, don’t always take things personally.
  10. Don’t lower your standards, instead wait for someone to rise up for it.
  11. Money or things will not solve your real problems.
  12. There’s an advantage in not knowing.
  13. Perspective is a beautiful thing.
  14. Perfectionism is a mask that we all wear when we are afraid of failure.
  15. Sometimes it is better to fall asleep in pain than to fall asleep knowing that you were the cause of someone else’s pain.
  16. You can be in the worst position possible but you’ll figure it out.
  17. Happy whole people are drawn to happy whole people. 
  18. Try not to please everyone.
  19. The world changes with your example not your opinion.
  20. People may talk bad about you, crash you, and walk over you but you will always keep your value.
  21. The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven or hell.
  22. When you love, you love hard. If you don’t get it back, there’s nothing wrong with you.
  23. Judgement is but a mirror that reflects the insecurities of the person who’s doing the judging.
  24. Your values determine the nature of your problems and your problems determine the quality of your life.
  25. Keep things private until you know it’s permanent.
  26. Seek what sets your soul on fire.
  27. Don’t take criticism from someone you wouldn’t take advice from.
  28. Other people’s opinions do not define you. You do you.
  29. Your life experiences mattered in equal measures in making you a better YOU.
  30. Eat your veggies, be kind to animals, and use less plastic.
  31. Always have a safe space.
  32. It is your sensitivity to others’ wrongful treatment that stops you from treating others wrongly.
  33. Be kind with a spine!

Had an impromptu life-lessons-exchange with Jam and Kim. They are not 33 though so 80% of what they are saying they don’t know yet.

Read about my 31 Gifts of Gratitude to my 31 Year Old Self and 30 Things I Learned at 30 through these links.

Hope this adds value.

Love,

Jinky xx

AMIDST COVID ERA AND COVID ERA

I don’t know how much more I can do and I can hold. Keeping it all together and trying to stay positive though you are physically and mentally drained is freaking EXHAUSTING! And it’s obnoxious hearing people say “things will get better soon” like, when exactly..? It has been a year of battling covid on a personal level and professional one (short staffed). Everyday I show up to work, give my best and perform the same standards expected that should be done by two. And guess what, it is tiring. If you are not tired, you are not doing it right. I am sorry to say that but not really.

I. Am. Over. It. And I am done being discouraged to express what I feel. I’m fully aware that others are having it worse, but that doesn’t mean anything about me, my experience, my pain and my right to feel my emotions. Well, in fact, expressing and letting it go is better than letting it balloon out of control.

So yeah, sorry for such a negative post but I am just trying to be real. I can tell you to stay strong and positive etc., but you can do whatever you want to do, too.

Love,

Jinky

31 Gifts of Gratitude to my 31 Year Old​ Self

 

  1. Thank you for not giving up when things got rough.
  2. Thank you for looking after yourself.
  3. Thank you for loving yourself so you can love others.
  4. Thank you for trying not to always doubt yourself.
  5. Thank you for being brave to welcome love again.
  6. Thank you for doing small little things as your way of giving back.
  7. Thank you for minimizing foul language.
  8. Thank you for trying to quit your bad habits.
  9. Thank you for making this blog to share your thoughts and the things you love doing when you’re not working.
  10. Thank you for taking happiness in healing others.
  11. Thank you for eating healthier and working out.
  12. Thank you for quitting smoking.
  13. Thank you for keeping your values and beliefs in a world where change is literally constant.
  14. Thank you for the courage to ask someone when you need help.
  15. Thank you for trying to spend less on the things you want and spending more on the things you need.
  16. Thank you for replying to messages right away, not after a week of receiving it.
  17. Thank you for always wanting to help even when you have to compromise yourself.
  18. Thank you for trying to live plastic-free.
  19. Thank you for drinking 2 cups of coffee and 15 cups of water every day.
  20. Thank you for spending less time with uninspiring people.
  21. Thank you for speaking up your mind and what you feel.
  22. Thank you for keeping your cool when you’re disappointed beyond measure.
  23. Thank you for crying when you are sad, happy or when watching sad movies.
  24. Thank you for reading more.
  25. Thank you for always wanting to learn more.
  26. Thank you for judging yourself and other people less.
  27. Thank you for starting bullet-journaling.
  28. Thank you for ranting in a piece of paper as your way of destressing.
  29. Thank you for moisturising your face and body every day.
  30. Thank you for loving your family more than you ever thought it was possible to love anything.
  31. Thank you for THRIVING and celebrating your LIFE. You are exactly where you need to be. Happy Birthday!

Check out my 30th birthday post; 30 Things I Learned at 30.

Thank you for stopping by and belated Happy International Women’s Day to all the amazing women out there!

Love,

Jinky xx

7 BAD HABITS TO BREAK IN 2019

I’m sharing 7 habits to break in 2019. These are bad habits that I myself sometimes consciously do and I thought I’d share these with you as food for thought and potentially as an inspiration for one another to set on a good start this new year. Let’s get into it.

1. Showing Up Late

Showing up late would have to be on top of the list. You have no idea how bad I am in showing up on time in every get together with friends, meeting a friend, work meetings, and appointments. Thank goodness, I have not missed any interviews yet. I will make it a mission to break this habit in 2019. This is probably so annoying on so many levels to other people because If I were the one waiting, I’ll get annoyed, too. Your friends will have to adjust to you because you’re late and that is not a good impression to have nor a good start for a new year.

2. Excessive Worrying

Worrying is feeling troubled or uncomfortable and being overly concerned about a situation or problem. I don’t like things being not perfect the way I wanted them. Thus, over-worrying is the norm for me. Sometimes I’ll realize it sometimes I won’t and it just keeps happening. I know life or every single day rather is full of uncertainties and if we spend our time worrying we will miss out on things that we should be focussing instead. Our brain is so powerful that what we think and what we obsess on will grow and develop. If you worry about the things that could go wrong, it might go wrong. Over-worrying will just attract more worry and you’ll be trapped in this entire same cycle. So, this year we have to stop worrying about things more than we should and redirect our way of thinking and focus on what we can do to address the things that keep us worried. Lastly, the effects are not healthy at all; less sleep, irritability, emotional exaustion, unrealistic fear, the feeling of everything is just not working and everyone is annoying. Haha.

3. Saying bad things to myself

I look at myself in the mirror and I can instantly point out the things I don’t like about my self physically (like how short I am and my eye bags) instead of honouring what I have and recognising the values I have personally that I should be proud of. Not to mention the comments I gave myself everytime I screwed up or failed. Ironically, I can support and motivate myself in doing what I want to do and I can blame myself as much without second-guessing if I have not performed well. If you’re someone like me, this has to stop. Everywhere you can see self-care and self-love are being raised for awareness because it’s obvious that sometimes we need to be reminded that we are amazing just the way we are. I believe that practising self-love is very important because of how we are within ourselves contributes immensely to how we present or express ourselves out into the universe. That being said, the idea of talking bad things to yourself as well as self-blame in every realm of life possible contradicts that notion. I am aware that sometimes this can appear lame but it’s actually true. You can’t be nice to anyone if you aren’t with yourself and how can you compliment others and can’t compliment yourself? It takes practice, I myself included should do so and today can be the first day of many.

4. Not Exercising

Trust me I get a burst of energy and motivation when it’s a good day and some days I just don’t. I have no idea why. This year I will try harder to stop me from making excuses not to work out. There are multiple benefits you can get even in just doing simple exercise and stretches. To name a few; back pain relief, helps with muscle spasm, weight loss, improves your mood, and make your heart stronger (no pun intended). No need for a gym membership or fancy work out gears and whatnot. Just do your daily stretch and exercise as much as you can and wherever you can.

5. Impulsive Buying

Don’t be fooled by sales and offers at the mall. I’ll be lying if I’ll say I wasn’t. But if your aim is to help them skyrocket their sales, then feel free. Haha. When I started sorting out the things I need from the things I owned, it hit me. I can’t believe the money, energy, and time I have wasted every time I saw that red tags with 70% or 50% off on it. I have started breaking this habit later of 2018 and planning to completely break it this year. Think about the time you need to clean if you own a lot of things, the time you spend to think what to wear if you have a lot of clothes. And this can’t be just me, have you noticed that even though you have literally tons of clothes, you somehow managed to think you have nothing to wear thus you need to buy new ones. If you wanna buy something, delay buying it. You might be surprised that the next day you no longer want the thing you wanted the other day. Lastly, the thing about sales or offers is that you’re not actually saving money but spending more money buying things more than you actually need.

6. Gossiping and Complaining

I’m so guilty of this. Haha. I get that we are not perfect so as the people around us and those days that are just the “unlucky days”. I complain less now than before, which is I think is progress. If you’re a person who complains a lot over silly things that shouldn’t be attended really, know that it’s bad for your health as well as to the people around you who are unlucky enough to hear you always complain. The more you complain the more you are attracting negative vibes and negative people into your life. If you just think about it, you have way too many reasons to be thankful for. Okay, this doesn’t mean we can’t have negative thoughts but we can try to just keep them to ourselves and not putting it out there for people to know and feel uncomfortable, too. Gossiping is a bad habit I want to break, too. Please don’t be so quick to judge me. I don’t gossip big time, it’s just that sometimes we can’t contain ourselves talking about other people’s lives. It would be nicer if we can just talk about the good in them and how they’ve succeeded in inspiring us by example.

7. Excessive use of phone

Lastly but by no means least, excessive use of phone. I myself might also be doing this way more than I should sometimes, but I’ll take credit in knowing when I should and when I should really not. When you’re with your friends or loved ones, put down your phone or excuse yourself if you have to answer an important call. The fact that they gave you their time makes them more than deserving of the time you spent scrolling your phone, too. Be present, engage in the conversation, and update each other. Believe me, It will make them happy, feel appreciated and respected, and you get to be “that friend” who isn’t always on his/her phone. The other reason aside from saving money, why I don’t use data on my phone every time I’m out is that it will give me no reason to use my phone. If I’m out with friends, okay I’ll snap a pic or two and then I want to have fun. If I’m alone, I want to think and unwind otherwise I will not go out if I only have to be on my phone.

That is all the habits I want to break this year. I wish everyone a very Happy and Prosperous New Year. Let’s have a fresh start and welcome the 364 days with hundreds of new chances not only for changing our habits but for literally everything. Let’s make 2019 better together! Thank you so much for stopping by. Cheers!

Love,

Jinky xx