Posted in THOUGHTS

WHY IT ROCKS TO BE SENSITIVE

Whenever I imagine my truest self, I picture someone who overthinks a lot, cries when happy and cries when sad.

This reminds me of when one of our docs shouted at me with dets we spare to share. I cried so much and hardly convinced myself that, it shouldn’t affect me anymore considering I’m doing nursing for a decade already.

Being highly sensitive is my trait and it is my weakness as much as my strength. Weakness in the sense that I often put others demands first before mine and ends up saying yes all the time and no matter how hard I try to put up boundaries, they are still being crossed. In the case of the latter, it is my gentle power, I can deeply analyze everything and I can feel what you feel. It might not be 100% accurate, but I’m pretty sure I will know. I might don’t have steel elbows but I keep the condition balance for the people who say no and outspoken.

There are so many instances that I am told to toughen up, you’re an adult, be a b*, say no, etc etc. Those pieces of advice in addition to being too emotional made me think something is wrong with me. Then I started reading about it to understand it better. Of course, the world is still painful sometimes. But I don’t believe you need to be sensitive to care.

I am essentially born to be mild and would love to take your hand to make the world gentler.

Posted in NURSING

NATIONAL NURSES DAY 2021//SPECIALIZED REHABILITATION HOSPITAL

Had a wonderful day celebrating Nurses’ Day with these beautiful souls. Thank you for celebrating us and with us!

– J

Posted in THOUGHTS

33 THINGS EVERY 33 YEAR-OLD WOMAN SHOULD KNOW

  1. You have wrinkles but it’s okay.
  2. Don’t compare YOUR success to someone else’s OWN definition of success.
  3. Turn your panic into prayers.
  4. Stop chasing after people for you don’t need to chase what belongs to you.
  5. Always go for quality over quantity. Be it physical things, people or relationships.
  6. You will take care of yourself first before you can take care of others. You can’t give what you don’t have.
  7. Follow what feels good.
  8. Invest on memories not on things.
  9. It’s not all about you, don’t always take things personally.
  10. Don’t lower your standards, instead wait for someone to rise up for it.
  11. Money or things will not solve your real problems.
  12. There’s an advantage in not knowing.
  13. Perspective is a beautiful thing.
  14. Perfectionism is a mask that we all wear when we are afraid of failure.
  15. Sometimes it is better to fall asleep in pain than to fall asleep knowing that you were the cause of someone else’s pain.
  16. You can be in the worst position possible but you’ll figure it out.
  17. Happy whole people are drawn to happy whole people. 
  18. Try not to please everyone.
  19. The world changes with your example not your opinion.
  20. People may talk bad about you, crash you, and walk over you but you will always keep your value.
  21. The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven or hell.
  22. When you love, you love hard. If you don’t get it back, there’s nothing wrong with you.
  23. Judgement is but a mirror that reflects the insecurities of the person who’s doing the judging.
  24. Your values determine the nature of your problems and your problems determine the quality of your life.
  25. Keep things private until you know it’s permanent.
  26. Seek what sets your soul on fire.
  27. Don’t take criticism from someone you wouldn’t take advice from.
  28. Other people’s opinions do not define you. You do you.
  29. Your life experiences mattered in equal measures in making you a better YOU.
  30. Eat your veggies, be kind to animals, and use less plastic.
  31. Always have a safe space.
  32. It is your sensitivity to others’ wrongful treatment that stops you from treating others wrongly.
  33. Be kind with a spine!

Had an impromptu life-lessons-exchange with Jam and Kim. They are not 33 though so 80% of what they are saying they don’t know yet.

Read about my 31 Gifts of Gratitude to my 31 Year Old Self and 30 Things I Learned at 30 through these links.

Hope this adds value.

Love,

Jinky xx

Posted in NURSING

From VIP Unit to LTVU

My journey; How I deal with my stress, and the Importance of Debriefing after a death of a patient. 

At the end of every hectic shift, I often find myself feeling ineffective and inadequate. Made me feel not fulfilled and after 10 years, questioned myself if Nursing really is for me. 

I used to care for VIP patients with a ratio of 1:1. It is safe to say that I deliver what is expected of me in a timely basis, I feel effective, from doing the usual bedside duties, carrying out orders, doing extra for the station and nursing department. Then here I am in LTVU handling 3 patients 95% of the time. Exhaustion is given, every day is not always planned and the margin for errors is so small.

I learn in LTVU so much and I’m grateful for those unplanned days. I certainly do not know everything and forget to do certain things, but I am honest about it and I always ask when I’m in doubt. My confidence was slowly being built and I thought it’s a good thing to always have things to work on. 

Growth comes in different ways after all. We always have a choice and strength that we never would have realized if we were not tested and did not experience the things we never did before. What a difference a five-month can make.  

Stress will always be there and Nurse Burnout has soared during this pandemic. It is not surprising then that somedays are just way too difficult to handle physically or mentally. And keeping a positive spirit all day long is just the only way it should be. Honestly, that is a hope – not a guarantee. 

I, like many others, deal stress differently. For me, The Phoenix becomes my Way to Decompress, an outlet to express the other side of myself. Having coffee out with friends, someone to vent out about your horrible day, over-sleeping, and Netflix. THEY. HELPED. 

Our lives as nurses seem to revolve around give – give – give and leaves us nothing for ourselves. Let’s be kind to ourselves and stop doing it. We can’t give anything we don’t have since Covid-19 has stretched our coping abilities so thinly. With this extra work stress, codes and deaths along with being masked all day, often puts us into emotional overdrive – which is all fathomable. Debriefing is important to regain emotional equilibrium. I just hope we can do more of this in the future and might be a good idea to have it actually built into a system or a program. 

Posted in THOUGHTS

AMIDST COVID ERA AND COVID ERA

I don’t know how much more I can do and I can hold. Keeping it all together and trying to stay positive though you are physically and mentally drained is freaking EXHAUSTING! And it’s obnoxious hearing people say “things will get better soon” like, when exactly..? It has been a year of battling covid on a personal level and professional one (short staffed). Everyday I show up to work, give my best and perform the same standards expected that should be done by two. And guess what, it is tiring. If you are not tired, you are not doing it right. I am sorry to say that but not really.

I. Am. Over. It. And I am done being discouraged to express what I feel. I’m fully aware that others are having it worse, but that doesn’t mean anything about me, my experience, my pain and my right to feel my emotions. Well, in fact, expressing and letting it go is better than letting it balloon out of control.

So yeah, sorry for such a negative post but I am just trying to be real. I can tell you to stay strong and positive etc., but you can do whatever you want to do, too.

Love,

Jinky